I never really liked the term bitch. It's derogatory, right?
Then I learned, read the studies. Behavior by a man, seen as successful, assertive, a go-getter. Same behavior by a woman, seen as a negative, bossy, a bitch.
We expect women to be accommodating, yielding, gentle. So when we defy those expectations, it's not always seen as good. And often the word bitch is spoken as a bad reaction to us standing up for ourselves.
I think most women have experienced this in both professional life and personal life.
Now, I've started to think of BITCH as a woman, Being In Total Control of Herself.
I've run into some bad reactions lately from men who sent me private messages me on Facebook. So this week it's a rant about bad reactions, some articles, and a music video!
The Rant
So here's some examples of bad reactions I've run into lately.
1. If someone I don't know sends me a private message on FB, I often ask, "How can I help you?"
The responses I've gotten from guys? "you are so mean", "I don’t why ur so angry", and being told I'm being "harsh".
Uhm, no I'm not. I'm not angry, just busy. I'm not being mean, I'm being nice, polite, professional. I'm asking why you're contacting me. I'm asking how I can help! I could have been blunt and unfriendly and just said "What do you want?"
2. Several guys have sent me lewd messages and images on FB, but what really took the cake was the dude who sent me a video of sodomy. I stared at it for a second thinking, what the heck is this and why is it in my inbox? Then it dawned on me, oh, I see, this is this guy's reaction to me turning him down. He didn't have the words, so he thought video was his best revenge I guess.
3. Another dude tried to chat me up and I told him I wasn't looking for a chat buddy. He asked if I was married, so I sent him a link to my NO post and explained that I don't use FB as a dating site.
His reaction went from bad to worse rapidly. He started by asking me "why you're getting angry" and told me to "relax". He then went on to say, "you like Hitler really in short time you got very angry....there is no any Hitler like you...can i call your name Hitler?"
At this point I blocked him.
I try to be nice. I'd love to talk to ACTUAL FANS, you know someone who actually likes my art, my music, my fashion designs... But no, these guys just wanted to chat with a woman and get her to send pics, cam, etc. Ugh, how very disappointing. :(
Articles
So here's some interesting articles about the differences in how men and women are perceived.
Music Video
And here's a music video that matches the topic quite well, HBIC
Favourite Lyrics
Well, the chorus is pretty awesome:
1. You think I'm bossy
2. You think I look mean
3. And you don't like me
4. I don't care
I’m the Head Bitch In Charge, yeah
I’m the Head…
I’m the Head Bitch In Charge, yeah
I’m the Head…
This bit is also good:
Now I take credit whenever I get it
I work to earn it, and don’t you forget it
You call me bossy, a matter of pride to me
You best remember, I’m the H.B.I.C.
I’m the H.B.I.C.
Then I learned, read the studies. Behavior by a man, seen as successful, assertive, a go-getter. Same behavior by a woman, seen as a negative, bossy, a bitch.
We expect women to be accommodating, yielding, gentle. So when we defy those expectations, it's not always seen as good. And often the word bitch is spoken as a bad reaction to us standing up for ourselves.
I think most women have experienced this in both professional life and personal life.
Now, I've started to think of BITCH as a woman, Being In Total Control of Herself.
I've run into some bad reactions lately from men who sent me private messages me on Facebook. So this week it's a rant about bad reactions, some articles, and a music video!
The Rant
So here's some examples of bad reactions I've run into lately.
1. If someone I don't know sends me a private message on FB, I often ask, "How can I help you?"
The responses I've gotten from guys? "you are so mean", "I don’t why ur so angry", and being told I'm being "harsh".
Uhm, no I'm not. I'm not angry, just busy. I'm not being mean, I'm being nice, polite, professional. I'm asking why you're contacting me. I'm asking how I can help! I could have been blunt and unfriendly and just said "What do you want?"
2. Several guys have sent me lewd messages and images on FB, but what really took the cake was the dude who sent me a video of sodomy. I stared at it for a second thinking, what the heck is this and why is it in my inbox? Then it dawned on me, oh, I see, this is this guy's reaction to me turning him down. He didn't have the words, so he thought video was his best revenge I guess.
3. Another dude tried to chat me up and I told him I wasn't looking for a chat buddy. He asked if I was married, so I sent him a link to my NO post and explained that I don't use FB as a dating site.
His reaction went from bad to worse rapidly. He started by asking me "why you're getting angry" and told me to "relax". He then went on to say, "you like Hitler really in short time you got very angry....there is no any Hitler like you...can i call your name Hitler?"
At this point I blocked him.
I try to be nice. I'd love to talk to ACTUAL FANS, you know someone who actually likes my art, my music, my fashion designs... But no, these guys just wanted to chat with a woman and get her to send pics, cam, etc. Ugh, how very disappointing. :(
Articles
So here's some interesting articles about the differences in how men and women are perceived.
- Gender Bias At Work -- Why Men Call Forceful Women 'Hysterical' And Try To Silence Them
- The Sad Truth About Assertive Women
- The Fine Art of Female Assertiveness: How to get your way by being diplomatically assertive
Music Video
And here's a music video that matches the topic quite well, HBIC
Favourite Lyrics
Well, the chorus is pretty awesome:
1. You think I'm bossy
2. You think I look mean
3. And you don't like me
4. I don't care
I’m the Head Bitch In Charge, yeah
I’m the Head…
I’m the Head Bitch In Charge, yeah
I’m the Head…
This bit is also good:
Now I take credit whenever I get it
I work to earn it, and don’t you forget it
You call me bossy, a matter of pride to me
You best remember, I’m the H.B.I.C.
I’m the H.B.I.C.
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