LALENA - Blog

Blog Announcement

5/28/2023

Hello, this is Lalena, and I have a brief announcement that I wanted to make today.

So if you are a long time reader of my blog, you have probably noticed that I have not been posting a whole lot lately. There's a number of different reasons for that. I'm not going to go into all of that today, but I did want to announce that I am planning a change of format. So I am planning to experiment with moving to video instead. I feel like that might just work better than having me sit there and try to write 3,000 to 5,000 words, and try to find the perfect word and the perfect phrasing, and including all the footnotes and references and links, which is what I tend to do with my longer format blog posts. Instead, I can just set up the camera and just hit record and talk to you about whatever topic it is that I want to share with you. So we're going to experiment with this and see how it goes.

In terms of topics, it's going to be a lot like my blog. So a little bit of this, a little bit of that, a little bit of everything. I know I definitely want to do a video about art and AI with everything that's going on in that realm, and I know that I promised at some point in my blog to do a bit more about COVID and vaccines and some information regarding that. So that's another topic that I definitely plan to tackle as well.

And beyond that, we'll just kind of see where we go, probably a little bit of everything.

Also in terms of videos on my YouTube channel, I will be continuing to post dance videos because I love dancing, so you'll continue to see some dance videos pop up in the YouTube channel as well, so it'll be a mix.

Now in terms of frequency, I am going to commit to doing at least one video per month to start with, although I have some aspirational goals about doing one video per week. We'll see how that goes. So that is the plan. If you have any feedback or any suggestions, let me know. And I think that's all I really had to share with you today. I hope you have a great weekend. Bye for now.

3 Reasons YOU Should Join Shimmy Mob Right Now

1/20/2023

3 Reasons YOU should join Shimmy Mob right now:

1. It's good exercise & it's open to everyone. No previous experience needed. All genders & all ability levels are welcome (instructors teach a basic & advanced version of the dance, and many show a version you can do from a chair)

2. It's supporting a good cause. It's to raise awareness about domestic violence & raise funds for local shelters. 50% of people experience DV at some point in their lives, so this issue is likely to have touched you or someone you love. ❤️

3. It's global & online. 🌎 You're connecting with a community of thousands of people in hundreds of countries around the world. There are videos on the website to learn the dances. And many rehearsals have moved online during the pandemic, so you can rehearse live over Zoom with other people. For performance, there's an option to perform online or with your local group outdoors.

Today is the last day for early bird prices. 🐣 So I encourage you to sign up & join us! 💃

I first joined Shimmy Mob in 2019, so I got to experience one year before the pandemic. Over the past three years, this has been a wonderful community to be a part of. I've met so many great dance teachers & dancers from all over the world. I took belly dance lessons online during pandemic working my way up from beginner to intermediate level, and I even took a special class on veil work. About year ago I joined an online dance troupe, the Shimmy Sirens of Zoom, which I love. And I've gotten connected to other online events, like the Night in the Global Village online haflas.

For me being able to continue dance these past few years has been great. Good exercise, good social connections, doing something I love, and helping with a social cause I believe is important.

If you want to see some examples of the Shimmy Mob dances, I have a bunch on my YouTube channel & here's my most recent solo video.

Ghosts in the House & Ghost in the Machine

1/13/2023

Presence is one of the earliest noise pieces I worked on. It was originally created using an old 4-track bought from a pawn shop & it makes heavy use of loops. I took the original tapes into ProTools & remixed and arranged them.

One of the sounds in this piece was created trying to replicate the sound of a supernatural experience, thus the name Presence. You'll also hear the sounds of bells, chimes, chains and other noises that are often associated with ghosts.

The work itself was created in a house that dated from around 1900 that was haunted. My cat liked to play and run up and down the long hallway of the "shotgun shack" and she seemed to be playing with some kind of spirits. They were never clearly visible to me, the most I ever saw were vague orbs of light. There were also occasional breezes from nowhere that would move curtains, but I usually dismissed those as just being an old drafty house.

One day I was trying to recreate a sound someone else in the band had heard during a supernatural experience. When I managed to create a waveform on my synthesizer that they felt matched, it had a strange effect on the synthesizer where every other key on the keyboard ended up with it's own unique and odd sound that didn't match the waveform I had just created. (This should not have happened, I created one waveform that should have mapped over the keys in different pitches. It should haven't created a bunch of different sounds for each key.)

As we continued to work on the piece, I saw something invisible lift a curtain that was hanging in a doorway to enter the room. We decided to run with that theme and the song ended up being about ghosts.

So here is the song, Presence. It contains that waveform/sound that one of the band members heard during a supernatural experience. The song was created during the event described above when my synthesizer freaked out when I tried to recreated that sound & a spirit appeared to enter the room.

Many describe this track as hypnotic, meditative, and trancelike. And I love the way the visuals look and move with the music. I hope you enjoy it.

Three Kings' Day

1/6/2023

Today is the Epiphany, also called Three Kings' Day. This is the day the magi visited and gave gifts to baby Jesus. And that's exactly what this piece is about. Trimagis is cinematic audio work describing each of the three wise men and the gifts they bring. I hope you enjoy it.

I know I posted this before a while ago, but I think it's been long enough that it will be new to many people and I know some people have no idea I create experimental music like this with cool audiovisuals. :D

Happy New Year!

1/1/2023

Happy New Year! Or at least I hope it's happy. I hope it's better than 2022.

I wanted to do more over the holidays. I wanted to write to friends, record a new dance video, take selfies in cute holiday outfits, post more, share more, but I've been sick and feeling fatigued so I wasn't up to much of any of that.

So if you're reading this, I ask you to please pray for me and send some of your healing light energy my way 😇🙏

In reflecting on the end of the year last night, I mostly felt grateful. I managed to survive 2022! I managed to survive another year of this pandemic (I can hardly believe it's been 3 years now & that it's still not over)

I want to share more, I plan to share more, and I will when I can find the time and the energy. For now, I wish you and your loved ones well. I wish you happiness, good health and good fortune.

I Danced for Johnny Depp: Dancing to Raise Awareness about Abuse

5/21/2022

Last weekend I danced to raise awareness about domestic abuse, and at least in my mind, I danced for Johnny Depp. I danced for everyone who has suffered abuse from someone they loved, everyone who has suffered abuse from someone with a personality disorder. I danced for those have not or can not speak up. And I danced with the joy of being free from abuse.

I’m part of an organization called Shimmy Mob, the world’s largest belly dance flash mob. Thousands of dancers gather in hundreds of cities around the world to raise awareness about domestic abuse, because this is a global issue and it can happen to anyone!

I danced in the live performance by the global Shimmy Mob group. I'm also a member of the online dance troupe the Shimmy Sirens of Zoom :) and our video will be featured in an online halfa today being hosted by Night in the Global Village. I also recorded a solo version, because my friends and fans told me they want to see me and I was too small on the screen in the dance troupe versions. So here you go, friends and fans :D

I think the Johnny Depp v Amber Heard trial has brought the topic of abuse into the news and into conversation with others. I think that there are few silver linings to the train wreck on fire that is this trial.

The first is that Johnny Depp has become a very public face for men who have experienced abuse at the hands of the woman they loved. I think it’s important to recognize that yes, men can be abused too. And it doesn’t just happen to short, slim, small, young men. I vividly recall the first time a male friend of mine confided in me about the abuse that he had suffered at the hands of his ex-wife. He was not someone I would have expected to have been abused. He was taller and bigger than me and he was trained to fight, he was ex-military. But his wife was cruel and they met in the military and she savagely beat him. What he described sounded horrible. I was surprised and I felt touched that he trusted me enough to share his experience with me, that he felt safe enough with me as a friend to trust me, to tell me what happened to him. I feel that Johnny Depp stepping up to speak publicly about his experience is incredibly brave and I think it’s important to have a public figure admit that yes, this happened to him. Men are sometimes abused by women, it does happen, and it's just as sad and awful as women being abused by men.

In a recent analysis by Statistics Canada 44% of women and 36% of men had experienced intimate partner violence. You'll notice those numbers are very similar between women and men and alarmingly high. The actual numbers are probably even higher, since there is a lot of under-reporting (particularly by men) and North America has a low rate compared to the rest of the world. Estimates for global numbers look more like over 50% of people experience domestic violence at some point in their life. And there have been studies showing there has been a recent increase in young males being abused by the women they are involved with, which is worrying trend. And it's been all over the news headlines how much domestic violence has increased during the pandemic. This is a BIG global issue affecting a lot of people!

I think another silver lining from this trial is that it is shining a direct and harsh light on mental illness. It’s giving the public a very clear example of what some specific personality disorders look like. In Amber Heard's testimony and the audio tapes made by the couple when they were together, you can hear it. You can hear how she’s unwilling to admit any responsibility, how she’s inconsistent in what she says, and how she constantly twists what people say and the truth. I've felt this way about a few other female celebrities who have been in the spotlight recently too, like Jada Pinkett-Smith and even Meghan Markle. All of these women seem to have poorly controlled mental health issues that are on display for the world to see, because they are in the public eye. They appear to have personality disorders that are interfering with their lives and the lives of the people close to them.

I think people don't realize how easily you can find yourself in a situation like this. How it can happen if you're just a compassionate, empathic, and kind person. Where you don't notice the red flags until you're already in the relationship, in love...and then you realize the other person is deeply troubled. And you find yourself wanting to help, because you love them. I think that's often the situation that many people who experience abuse find themselves in and it usually starts with emotional and verbal abuse, so you may not even recognize it as abuse at the beginning. You're involved with the person, you may be living with them, you may have children with them. And you love them, you want to help them, you want things to work out, but the other person has issues, serious issues. Often mental health issues, particularly personality disorders that are poorly managed or completely uncontrolled. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, mental health issues do not give you a free pass to abuse someone. Abuse is NEVER justified!

I think it's important to educate yourself about personality disorders, to better understand the signs. Unlike people with anxiety or depression who know they have a problem, often people with personality disorders don't know they have a problem. They don't think anything is wrong with them. Their thinking is quite literally disordered. And personality disorders can be severely affect someone's behaviour, to the point where it interferes with their lives, their jobs, and their relationships. And some of those behaviours can be very harmful to others, especially those closest to them.

They will do things like compulsively lie. It's not something they necessarily control or are even aware of, their disorder compulses the behaviour. You can see this repeatedly in testimony given by Amber Heard. She is completely inconsistent. In one moment she'll describe the "one time" she ever hit Johnny Depp, but yet during the same deposition she talks about several other incidents where she hit him. There's even a tape of a conversation between the two of them after a fight, where Amber is angrily complaining because Johnny is upset that she punched him. You can listen to their conversations* and it's everything I needed to hear to understand that Amber Heard is an abuser. In the tapes made at the time they were involved, she clearly admits to physically abusing him on multiple occasions and she verbally abuses him on the tapes. She mocks him and makes of fun of him. She calls him a baby for running away from fights. She tells him that she can't promise she won't get physical again...that sometimes she just loses it. She even laughs and dares him to tell the world what really happened, saying that no one will believe him, that noone will believe he's a victim of domestic violence!

Can you imagine if the sexes were reversed? If this was a famous man on tape saying all of that to his wife? I have trouble understanding why so many people believed Amber for so long. I guess #MeToo was in full swing and everyone was all "believe all women". I'd like to, I'd like to believe all women and all men. I'd like to believe everyone. When I first heard about this I assumed that they were in an unhappy and dysfunctional relationship, I believed that perhaps the abuse was mutual. And often in cases of intimate partner violence there is bidirectional violence. But after hearing those audio tapes of the discussions between Amber and Johnny that were made at the time these incidents occurred, watching the video of her deposition and how she smiles when she talks about hitting him, and watching her on the stand now in the current trial, I think it's very clear that Amber is an abuser and that Amber has mental health issues. I believe Dr. Curry was correct in talking about Amber having two personality disorders, Borderline and Histrionic. It's been theorized she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well, which is possible - many of the traits do overlap.

I think that Johnny didn't realize what kinds of issues Amber had until he was already involved with her, already in love with her. And from what he's said, he grew up in a family where his mom was abusive, so he had already seen and experienced abuse as a child. I don't know the details, but it's possible his mother had a personality disorder too. In many ways, I feel Johnny's story is my story. I grew in a family where I was abused. And later I found myself in an abusive relationship as an adult. It was only afterwards that I realized how much those experiences were connected to each other and related to mental health issues and personality disorders. I didn't realize until later how much my experiences as a child made me vulnerable to getting involved in an abusive relationship as an adult. I was used to "walking on eggshells". I was used to someone who insisted on their version of reality and you just had to agree with it. There was no argument, reality was whatever they said it was. I was used to violence and threats of violence. When I encountered some of those same things in a relationship as an adult I realized I was unhappy and it wasn't healthy, but I didn't understand why things weren't getting better. I didn't understand why nothing really seemed to make the other person happy or improve things. I recall going to a couple's counsellor and essentially having the counsellor tell me that I wasn't the problem, that the other person needed help. But things never got better and I had to walk away. I'm just grateful and thankful that I was able to walk away. I know sadly many people stay in abusive relationships, or worse are killed by their abusive partners.

I think it's important to mention that not all people with personality disorders are violent. There have been some studies connecting personality disorders and violence. But there have also been studies showing upwards of 18% of CEOs are narcissists. Similarly, celebrities and influencers tend to be narcissists as well. For example, Meghan Markle is a relatively nice narcissist, she loves attention for doing charity work and being a "do-gooder". It's not that these people are good or evil, it's just that they have mental health issues. Though it is wise to be wary of narcissists. By definition, they are self-interested and lacking empathy, so they are capable of seriously harming others and they may be unaware of what they are doing. This is also part of what makes them "great" CEOs, they make decisions that are great for them and the companies financially, but sometimes give little thought ethics, employees, the larger and long-term consequences of their actions, etc. They don't give thought to anything outside of themselves, everything is related to them. It can make them highly successful, but it can also make them highly dangerous to other people and the world in general.

I strongly encourage you to educate yourself about abuse and personality disorders. It's vital that we all learn more about this important topic. It affects ALL of our lives. It's estimated about 10% of the population have personality disorders, though it may be higher, and there have been some studies showing an increase in narcissism recently. And if 50% of people experience domestic violence, then it has touched you or someone you know. Now is the time to learn more and understand it can happen to anyone :(

Resources
Are You Dating an Abuser? Nine very early signs of emotional and verbal abuse
If you need help in BC, contact Victim Link BC 24/7 (many languages)
Call 1-800-563-0808
Text 604-836-6381
Email VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca
TTY accessible at 604-875-0885 or collect at 7-1-1

Personality Disorders
I highly recommend Out of the Fog. It's a great resource for information about personality disorders, so you can learn more. They also have a wonderful support forum, so if you have a family member or a partner who has a personality disorder and you need support - this is the place. This is the resource I turned to when I was trying to make sense of an abusive relationship I was in. I learned SO much and I understand so much better now what happened and why.

Donations
If you find Out of the Fog helpful, donate to them! They are a volunteer run organization, so they run on donations and love :)

Also, the Shimmy Mob website has a list of local shelters and support organizations, so you can find a charity in your area to donate to and help your local community

Johnny Depp v Amber Heard Trial
For more insights, I'd suggest the following videos...

*Amber Heard and Johnny Depp Audio Tapes
This is what I consider primary source material. These audio tapes were recorded by Amber Heard and Johnny Depp years ago when they were involved, before the public accusations and their divorce. So if there is anywhere to look for the real truth, I believe it is in these recordings. There are more, but I think these three are prime examples of the kinds of interactions they were having and these specific recordings were made just after some of the major events being discussed in the trial.

Amber Heard's Deposition from 2016
This deposition is interesting because it doesn't match the audio tapes, she contradicts herself a number of times during the deposition, and her stories are different than what's she currently saying on the stand.

AMBER HEARD ADMITS TO KICKING A DOOR INTO JOHNNY DEPPS HEAD - NEVER BEFORE SEEN DEPOSITION FOOTAGE (Raw Footage)
Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Abuse Claims: Amber Admits to Multiple Violent Attacks! (Analysis with transcript)
Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Abuse Claims: Amber Caught Lying Under Oath! (Analysis with video footage)

Current Trial Footage
The Law & Crime Network has complete videos of the current trial and live coverage. Here are the videos with Amber Heard's testimony:

Analysis of Evidence
Incredibly Average has the most detailed and logical analysis of the evidence that I've seen so far. Here are several of the key videos I'd suggest reviewing:

#AbusehasNoGender #MenToo #DancingforJohnnyDepp #AmberHeardisanAbuser #DeppVsHeard #JohnnyDepp #AmberHeard #MeghanMarkle #JadaPinkettSmith #DomesticViolenceAwareness #DomesticViolenceEducation #MentalHealthAwareness #ShimmyMob #BellyDance #ShimmyMob2022 #BetheChange #MakeaDifference

6 Holiday Shopping Tips

11/25/2021

Tomorrow is Black Friday, the beginning of the end of the year shopping frenzy.

Though it seems like it started earlier than usual this year. I've already seen a few early Black Friday sales and one "Green Friday" sale, whatever greenwashing craziness that is...

I know most of us will probably buy something this season, so here are some general tips with links for more details.

Only buy new if it makes sense. You really need it, you're sure it's something the other person will really like, etc. Make sure it's for a good reason and purpose, that it is something that will be used and appreciated for years, or eaten if it's food :)
Buy Quality. Consider the product: does it have good reviews, is it well made, will it last? Consider the company: who are they, where is the product made, what materials are in the product? These questions are important for you, to make sure you get something good and safe. They're also important for the health and well being of everyone involved in making the product, and for ALL of the living beings on this planet really. What you CHOOSE to buy can make a BIG difference in the world.
If you have young children or pets, for their safety avoid EVERYTHING made in China, particularly anything they *might* put in their mouth. Many jewellery items, clothing and purses contain lead, cadmium, phthalates and other dangerous chemicals, at levels MUCH higher than what's allowed in Canada. (SHEIN, AliExpress, Zaful haul: Toxic chemicals found in some clothes)
To avoid toxic chemicals, avoid products made in China. Particularly, cosmetics, makeup, anything metal like jewellery, brightly colored objects (dyed or painted) and fake leather products. Also avoid waterproof items like raincoats and umbrellas, and vinyl or plastic items. This is due to various chemicals at dangerously high levels, including cadmium, lead & phthalates.
Buy Direct. Counterfeit products are surprisingly common online. (Counterfeit crackdown: Testing Walmart, Amazon, eBay, AliExpress and Wish) If you buy counterfeit products you're supporting organized crime, and you're likely to get something poorly made with toxic chemicals. So it's best to buy products directly from the manufacturer or from a reputable store in real life. For designer products, consider buying secondhand and pre-loved items from a business that verifies items as authentic.
If you care about the working conditions and the treatment of the people making the products, consider avoiding anything made in China (potentially slave labour). Overseas in general is questionable, but so is LA. (The hidden price of your clothes)

Generally speaking, made in Canada is good, but read the fine print. Make sure it is MADE in Canada, not just designed here. I learned doing local artisan & craft markets and Canadian fashion shows that "local" isn't always so local. At the markets & shows I attended that claimed to be Canadian and local, about half of the products were actually made outside of Canada.

I hope these tips will help you make good choices for your holiday spending. Of course, I also encourage you to check out my online store, where you'll find lots of items designed by me and made in Canada. :) I will be posting some new artwork and items in the next couple of days too.

Indigenous Peoples Day: The Past and Present

6/21/2021

Stanley Park in Vancouver, BC

Today is National Indigenous Peoples Day in Canada. It's a day recognizing and celebrating the cultures and contributions of the First Nations, Inuit and Métis Indigenous peoples of Canada.

I think this year it holds an extra charge with the recent discovery of the remains of 215 children at a residential school site in Kamloops.

From what I read the Kamloops school had acknowledged that about 50 children had died at the school, but finding the bones of over 200 children was sickening, and that's just one school. When the residential schools were in operation there were 139 schools in Canada. Most of them closed in the mid-1970s, but some remained open until the late 1990s. Over 150,000 children were removed and separated from their families and communities to attend these boarding schools.

Indigenous people have been talking for a long time about how terrible the residential schools were, and they have spoken before about the children who disappeared. It's clear with this gruesome discovery and from what survivors have said, that many of those children were abused and died under terrible circumstances.

Since the remains were found at the Kamloops school, I've seen memorials around town about the tragedy, including this one I saw yesterday in downtown Vancouver.

There have also been calls to search all of the residential school sites for remains. I was glad to read that the Government of Canada has set aside $27 million to support locating, documenting, maintaining and commemorating burial sites associated with former residential schools (and to respond to family wishes to commemorate or memorialize their losses and the children's final resting places).

This is horrible tragedy that took place in Canada and its effects are still deeply felt by the survivors, the friends, family members and communities affected. For those affected by this tragedy there are several crisis lines to call for support.

National Residential School Crisis Line
Support for former students and those affected
1-866-925-4419

BC KUU-US Crisis Line
Support for First Nations and Indigenous
1-800-588-8717

Both of these numbers are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I hope that in time we will all come to terms with what happened. That we'll be able to see the extent of tragedy and reflect together on that dark time in Canadian history and mourn for the many who suffered and died.

I hope we will be able to move forward towards a more inclusive society with less prejudice. I've been shocked by how much racism there is in Canada towards indigenous people, and I'm particularly concerned about young indigenous women.

There are still many missing indigenous women, one RCMP report estimated over a 1K, but activists say they have the names of over 4,000 women who have disappeared. And it's known that homicide rates is 6x higher for indigenous women.

I invite you to learn more and take action. Section 15 (page 89) of this summary has a number of actions that are for ALL Canadians to take action. It also includes links a number of resources to learn more.

I think it's important for Canadians to be aware of what happened in past and to be aware of what's happening now in the present. I think we all need to make an active choice to be supportive of indigenous people and communities.

Are We Ready to Put Covid Behind Us?

6/15/2021

Yesterday the Premier of BC said “We're ready to put Covid behind us.” And I think there are a lot of people who feel that way. A lot of us feel ready to be done with this pandemic. I know I wish it was over.

I haven't been writing in my blog as regularly as I used to before the pandemic, but if you’ve been following my other social media you'll know I have been posting a lot more there than usual. I've been providing summaries of live briefings held by public health officials here in BC regularly since the pandemic began. And I've been sharing important information and articles about Covid there as well.

I want to start blogging more again about various topics (and creating more videos), but first there's some information that I’d like to share about the pandemic before moving onto other topics. I thought about doing one BIG post on Covid, but there’s a lot of different topics, so I think I’m going to divide it up. To give you a bit of a preview, here are some of the topics I plan to cover.

I think that I’m going to start with the most controversial, which is QAnon. I think that everyone needs to know more about what was and is going on with that. And I'd like to share some information I've learned over the past year about Covid, the origins, health information, medical studies, etc. I think it would be good to talk about masks too and I think it's important to discuss vaccines.

I'd also like to share a bit about how the pandemic has affected me personally and some of the people I know. I want to talk a little about the challenges that I’ve struggled with over the past year and mental health, which a lot of people have struggled with during this pandemic. And I want to share with you some of what I’ve been up to over the past year. I haven’t been posting much about art, but I have been working on art. I've been doing acting workshops, taking a lot of dance lessons, and I've created some new visual art, so I have some new artwork to share too. :)

I just wanted to give you a brief overview about what kinds of topics I'm thinking about covering. If there's a topic you'd like to suggest, let me know. I plan to put up a series of articles over the next few weeks and then hopefully I won’t have to post about Covid anymore. I'm hoping to switch gears and focus on other things.

I thought about doing this at the end of 2020 or at the one year mark in March, but things weren't even close to over then and I was still feeling pretty overwhelmed. I think only now are we beginning to see the end in sight for the pandemic.

New! My Art on Totes & More

11/27/2020

I have an announcement! I decided to move everything I sell that's decorated with my art to my Lalena.me website.

Why? It's different customers & fans than my women's clothing business. I've sold just as many items to men as women. :) And I think the people that like my art are likely to be the same people that like my music and my videos. :) Some of the music videos do have a similar aesthetic, like this one.

SPECIAL SALE

To celebrate, I'm offering a sale on totes. Prices Good until Mon., Dec. 30th at 12 midnight. While supplies last.

Basic Tote Bag (Only a few of these left in-stock!)

Origami Tote Wrap (Only a few of these left in-stock!)

Urban Tote Bag (Lined)

All of the items are Made in Canada and decorated with my art. Please support me and Canadian business by buying some pretty, artwork decorated goods. :)

And please share with friends and family who may be interested, share on social media, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Thank you!

#madeincanada #shoplocal #blackfridaydeals #smallbusinesssaturday

Feminist Fridays: WAP, Cuties, Cats and Capitalism

9/25/2020

Is this the new face of feminism?

Note: Since we're discussing the song WAP there will be some graphic language in this post, so #nsfw

Background
A number of people have mentioned Cardi B.'s background in talking about WAP and I do think it’s relevant, since she’s being put forward as a feminist icon. So let's start with a little history in case you don't know. (I don't know about Megan's background, so I won't comment on that.)

Cardi has talked about the fact that she started stripping when she was 19. She’s also talked about what she did when men offered her money for sex, she drugged them and robbed them. So she did what's shown in Hustlers in real life and was never caught or prosecuted. She's also talked about getting back at men who cheat on her by getting them drunk/drugged and having a “tranny” have sex with them.

I think this is part of the problem, a lot of people have, with holding up Cardi B. as a feminist role model. I think we can all agree that drugging, raping, and robbing people is wrong. From her own description, it's clear she was not a good, ethical sex worker. And I think Cardi has some pretty messed up ideas about consent and transsexuals, if she thinks it’s ok to get “even” with a cis-het* guy she’s dating by getting him drunk/drugged and setting him up to have sex with someone who’s a “tranny”.

Beyond Cardi's past though, there's the lyrics to WAP. A number of women have proclaimed WAP as being feminist and a great anthem for female empowerment. AOC (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) even went so far as to tweet about WAP standing for "Women Against Patriarchy" and Gwyneth Paltrow talked about WAP being "part of the crumbling patriarchy" and glowingly said that "Cardi B is changing it by her incredible lyrical prowess".

Are you blindly ignoring the lyrics? Did you just hear the word “pussy” and decide that it must be feminist and progressive? The lyrics reinforce the idea that the only thing women have of value, the only currency women have to trade is their bodies and sex. The lyrics talk about trading sex for money and cars, using sex to get ahead in your career, and how sex is all that's important get a guy to marry you. Are these empowering, feminist messages? Are these women against patriarchy?

"There's some whores in the house"
Let's look at the lyrics, starting with the backing track, "There's some whores in the house". This line is repeated over and over again like a mantra throughout the song. This is the main message!

(The fact that you never see a guy in the video makes it ambiguous who’s saying this or why. I know it’s a sample, but in the context of the lyrics, is he their pimp? Is he a customer? Is he a neighbour complaining?)

You can interpret "There's some whores in the house" in two ways:

There are some actual sex workers in this house.
There are some women who enjoy sex in this house.

The rest of the lyrics make it clear the answer is both.

The Good
Is it catchy? Yeah, it's catchy as fuck, like an STI (more on that comparison later). WAP is an awful earworm that will get stuck in your head. You have been warned!

The lyrics graphically talk about sex, and comically and ridiculously talk about female arousal, like the line about needing "a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy".

I think the *best* I can say about WAP is that the lyrics talk about women liking sex. Typical cis-het sex with lots of sex work and a little kink. But being raunchy is not revolutionary. There are LOTS of song written and sung by women talking about being aroused and enjoying sex. And I’m not convinced that merely talking about enjoying sex equals female empowerment, particularly considering the lyrics and messages conveyed in WAP overall.

It’s possible that WAP is trying to reclaim the words "whore" and "freak". Both of the women sing about enjoying sex and doing sex work, so perhaps they are trying to reclaim the word “whore”. And there is the line “I said certified freak, seven days a week”, so perhaps the song is trying to reclaim that word as well.

I think that is the most glowing, positive light I can shine on WAP. Beyond that, well, I don't think the messages are particularly feminist and I have difficult seeing this as a great song for young women. Here are some of the lessons you can learn from WAP.

Sex work can pay for your tuition, get you a new car and more!
The song includes a number of lyrics talking about sex work, like "Pay my tuition just to kiss me on this wet-ass pussy...Now make it rain if you wanna see some wet-ass pussy". So the song glorifies sex work as a way to pay for college. There's also a line saying you should, "Ask for a car while you ride that dick". So there are a number of lyrics that talk about exchanging sex for money and goods. Is it feminist to encourage women to do sex work? To demand money before showing your WAP to a guy?

You don't need to use condoms, the guy can just pull out.
There are several lines that talk about the guy pulling out, such as "Wet-ass pussy, make that pullout game weak" and "Quick, jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me". No need for condoms apparently, even though they're talking about doing sex work and having sex with guys who don’t know your name. Apparently they’re not worried about sexually transmitted diseases. Yeah, you thought I was joking about the STI bit.

If you suck the right cock, you can get a record deal.
There's also this lyric, "I spit on his mic and now he tryna sign me". This line is clearly saying she did oral on a guy and now she's getting offered record deal. After #metoo and #timesup is this what we want to encourage? Women willingly sucking dick to get ahead in their career?

How to be a gold digger
And then there's this line, "I don't cook, I don't clean, but let me tell you how I got this ring". Saying quite literally that you can be a talentless whore and still get married. No need for common interests, love, or anything like. No, all you need to do is find a rich guy and have sex with him.

Oh, you don't think that's what this song says? Here's another line "He got some money, then that's where I'm headed, Pussy A1 just like his credit". Either she's looking for a rich guy to get money and goods for sex, or she's looking for a rich guy to marry her. Which is it? Which is a better message for women?

I've read some people think the lyrics are feminist because women used to be expected to cook and clean if they got married, but this song is saying women don't have to cook or clean. Um, really? So it's better to focus on how all women need to do is be good in bed?

Really, this whole song talks about women enjoying sex with men and using sex to get money and goods, get ahead in your career, and get married. Is this moving feminism forward? Is this going to crumble patriarchy? Or are these messages heteronormative?

Why do some feminists think WAP is great?
I've asked women who proclaim WAP to be feminist and empowering to explain what's feminist and empowering about the song. They seem to struggle to explain it and eventually descend to telling me to shut up if I don't like it and insults. Hmm, so much for an open-minded discussion on this topic.

@feminist shared Raquel Willis's post speaking positively about WAP and asking people to “Imagine if women and other folks could love their selves on their own terms without being concerned with the white cis-hetero patriarchal gaze.”

I think that’s a nice idea, but WAP is clearly designed for the cis-het male gaze. Every sexy outfit, pose, and dance move. The lyrics too. Even their bodies! I know Cardi has openly talked about getting plastic surgery to look more attractive to men. All of WAP is designed to appeal guys, maybe not so much white guys, but definitely for cis-het guys!

WAP and young women
A number of people commented online about WAP being great for young women. When I asked of one the commenters why they thought WAP was great for young women and they said WAP makes young women feel good about their bodies.

I'm all for women feeling good about their bodies! But I don't think that's something WAP does. And in terms of its effect on young women, have you seen Generation Wealth? Have you seen Cuties?

Here's a still from the WAP video and a still from the dance performance in Cuties.

A still from the WAP music & a still from the movie Cuties, both showing the same hump the floor dance move.

Notice some similarity there? Yup, it's the same hump the floor dance move meant to look like you’re having sex.

Cuties and #cancelnetflix
Here's a clip of the infamous dance performance in Cuties.

The girls shown in this clip are supposed to be 11 years old competing in a dance competition. I think Cuties accurately points out that the hyper-sexualisation that women are exposed to from a young age puts pressure on them to dress sexy, to do sexy dance moves, to expose themselves, etc.

Should you cancel Netflix? Yes, but not necessarily for Cuties. There are other reasons to cancel Netflix.

I think the director of Cuties is trying to show a young woman's journey and ultimately, she shows a middle ground for the young lead character, not conforming to her family or to dance crew she joined. But there is a LOT of young women dressing sexy and doing sexy dance moves in Cuties, so yeah, pedos would probably enjoy watching it.

At the same time, I think it's probably an accurate depiction of a young woman journey. Women are looking at videos like WAP and emulating the dance moves, and looking at women like Cardi B. and Kim Kardashian as roles models.

However, I do think Netflix choice to use a more sexualized poster for the English version of Cuties rather than the original image used for French release is questionable.

French poster for Mignonnes (Cuties) showing girls enjoying a shopping spree with confetti in the air.

Netflix English language poster for Cuties showing girls in revealing dance outfits posing to look sexy.

Similarly the original English description was, “Amy, 11, becomes fascinated with a twerking dance crew. Hoping to join them, she starts to explore her femininity, defying her family’s traditions.” Netflix later changed the description to "11- year-old Amy starts to rebel against her conservative family’s traditions when she becomes fascinated with a free-spirited dance crew.”

I guess Netflix realized using sexy poster of children and advertising 11 year old girls twerking might not be the best idea.

Big Cats & Tiger King
There's one other detail to WAP that bothers me, the wild animals. I thought everyone watched Tiger King! There should not be big cats in this video. Wild animals should not be exploited. Here's a longer article discussing this problem and how this isn't the first time Cardi has used big cats in her videos. She's a repeat offender.

When she was called out about it by Carole Baskin, Cardi said, “Like, that’s just ridiculous you know? Like, girl, you killed your goddamn husband.” I think her husband’s disappearance is suspicious too, but that’s not the point. The point is Cardi B. is contributing to the exploitation of big cats and using them to to portray extreme wealth in her videos, and apparently sees nothing wrong with that. I guess she doesn't care about big cats.

Sex, sluts and sex workers
To be clear, I love sex, I've enjoyed some porn, and I've even written some erotica. ;) I think being aroused and wanting sex are perfectly natural and normal for anyone, any person, or animal for that matter. And if you want to be a slut, go for it, but I think it’s best to be an Ethical Slut. :)

Much like the lyrics of WAP describe, I want to have sex every day, given a chance 4 or 5 times in a night. LOL But for me personally, I like other aspects to go with that, like common interests, connection, love, a relationship...

And if a billionaire or millionaire would like to date me, send me a message. I would be happy to marry someone wealthy, there are just other qualities I’d be looking for too, like compassion.

And I'm not against sex work. I've had a number of friends and acquaintances who have done sex work. I think it's a skilled profession and it's been around a very long time. But, and this is a big BUT, a lot of women do sex work for the money. They don't do it because they enjoy it, they do it because it pays well, because they're desperate for money. Sex workers usually get paid at least $250 an hour. What other jobs can you get that pay that well? Even Cardi talks about being a stripper to "survive" and clearly she focuses more on music now that she has a choice.

Have you seen how many women suddenly started OnlyFans accounts during the pandemic? It's a sign of the times. Women needed a way to make money, preferably from home, so it makes sense they would turn to becoming web cam girls and offering sexy pics on OnlyFans. I think sex work is something women turn to the same way men turn to gangs and dealing drugs. It's often because they see it as the best option available for them to make money. If there were other options available, many wouldn't do it. And men do sex work too, it's just not as common.

The other day someone mentioned to me that Seeking Arrangements is doing a “Back to School” sale, because you know, it’s time for students to go back to school and they need money. Seeking Arrangements boasts that Sugar Baby University now has more than 4.5 million students, 2.5 million in the US and over 330K in Canada. In its annual report for 2020 it said the number of students in Canada has risen "44 per cent in one year" and that was before than pandemic. A number of articles have been published talking about the growing trend and how it’s increased even more now with the pandemic. In one of the articles a student says, "I knew that the only way for me to make money was to either sell drugs or get a sugar daddy." So I think the comparison to dealing drugs is right on target. Sex work is choice, but what other options do women feel like they have?

Doing sex work, being a sugar baby, even being a gold digger, these are things women do to try to survive and thrive in a “man’s world”. Sex sells! And men have money. As woman, you have accepted that and have chosen to sell yourself as a sex object. In all of these cases we’re talking about a relationship with a man that is centered around the women’s sex appeal and her performing sex acts, and the man rewarding her with money and goods. As a woman, you are being valued for your beauty and how good you are in bed. As a man, you’re being valued for how much money you have.

I do understand in *some* cases there is an actual relationship where the people love each other, but in *most* sex work situations that is not the case and some of those articles included horror stories about being a sugar baby that are comparable to the some of bad experiences sex workers have. The sugar babies interviewed confirmed there is definitely an expectation of sex for money at the start, so I think this is a spectrum of exchanges of sex for money, money for sex. This is capitalism at its core, sell your body for money.

I think the questions I have about WAP are: Are the messages in WAP actually feminist? Or is it enabling patriarchy and promoting capitalism by encouraging women to sell their bodies to chase after wealth at any cost? If you haven’t done so already, I strongly encourage you to watch Generation Wealth and consider these questions.

*cis-het = cisgender heterosexual. One of the most common gender identity and sexual orientation combinations. Cisgender a term for people whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth. Heterosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behaviour between persons of the opposite sex or gender.

The Case for Basic Income: Take Action!

9/20/2020

Saturday was International Basic Income day, but I was busy on a film set over the weekend so I'm posting about it today. :) Plus the marches planned for this weekend were cancelled due to Covid, so I think sharing online is the best option right now.

Basic Income (aka, UBI, Universal Basic Income, Guaranteed Living Basic Income) is the idea that everyone should have enough to survive, enough to cover essentials like food and housing.

This Wednesday, September 23rd the Canadian government will present their plan to fix our social safety net. Now is the time to speak up! Sign a petition, write to your MP, and Justin Trudeau.

Basic Income is key to recovering from the Covid crisis, as the money will support the people who need it the most & it will be directly injected into economy by people spending on rent, food and other essentials. It simplifies support systems & it will help Canada deal with the economic impact from the Covid crisis, the decrease in jobs, and the rise in automation.

Please help Basic Income become a reality in Canada! We need a better support system for Canadians that will actually help everyone & help the economy, now more than ever before.

If you're new to the concept, here's a nice short video explaining "the case for universal basic income in post-pandemic Canada".

Is this a crazy left-wing idea?

No, not at all. Bill Kelly mentioned in his show the other day that "one of the architects of the concept of this was actually long-time conservative strategist and senator Hugh Segal".

Hugh Segal is quoted on the cover of Basic Income for Canadians saying it is, "The new Bible for how to best reduce poverty for millions."

And Former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney says a guaranteed basic income needs to be looked at with “great priority”.

Basic Income is a rare policy that people on the left and right side of the political spectrum support. It's easy to see why if you look at it. It's a good solution for poverty, it has an excellent ROI, and it stimulates the economy. Studies have shown that every $1 invested in the CCB drives $2 of economic activity!

It also simplifies and reduce government programs by replacing a number of existing support programs. Did anyone find themselves looking at the list of various Covid support programs when this first started to try to figure out which ones you were eligible for, personally or as a business? Did you see how long the list was? And yet, they still missed millions of people providing no help at all to many people and small businesses. Introducing basic income at the start of the pandemic for everyone would have been far more straight-forward than the patchwork of programs that is literally pages long and still misses millions.

And if you look at an issue like abortion, basic income can help women, regardless of whether you are pro-choice or pro-life.

Pro-choice: 3 out of 4 abortions happen because the woman can't afford having a baby. Basic Income allows women to choose whether to have a child from a place of financial freedom, rather than insecurity.

Pro-life: Basic Income addresses the most common reasons why women seek abortions, giving them financial security to have a child, the freedom to stop working, and increasing family stability.

Basic Income is cheaper than poverty

The two main criticisms of a basic income are:

Giving people cash will cause them to work less and hurt the economy.
Providing an income floor at a reasonable level for everyone is unaffordable.

Both of these critiques are wrong and poverty is expensive!

Income and wealth inequality are getting worse

A new PBO report says Canada's wealthiest 1% hold more than 25% of the wealth, about $3 trillion. And giving out millions to companies to help with Covid didn't result in those companies spending the funds as intended in the US or Canada.

There has been a dramatic rise in the concentration of wealth during the pandemic.

I think it's helpful to see which companies these billionaires are associated with, so I added the company names below.

And Jeff Bezos isn't just profiting from this pandemic, he's price gouging; "Items sold by Amazon reportedly increased in price by up to 1,000 percent".

Photo by @35mm_johnnyramen taken in the Capital Hill Autonomous Zone (CHAZ) in Seattle.

Housing

I know some people were hoping the Covid crisis would lead to the housing bubble bursting, prices falling back down to reasonable levels, and being able to afford to buy a home someday!

Instead housing prices are going up. Vancouver home prices rose 4.5% in July compared to 12 months ago.

I know you might be getting hopeful and thinking that 270 number might means something like $270,000, but no that's the price index showing how much prices have increased. The MLS Home Price Index composite benchmark price for all types of properties is up to $1,031,400. Yes, over a million for any type of property.

Rents have not gone up in BC yet, but starting this month landlords can evict tenants for not paying rent, and in December rent increases can start happening again. In places like Vancouver, nearly half of renters spend 30% or more of their income on housing which is unaffordable. Nearly a 1/4 spend at least half of their before-tax income on shelter.

Food

I'm sure you've noticed by now that food prices are going up and package sizes are going down. There are lots of articles discussing how the pandemic is causing grocery prices to rise and how "no food category is immune". Food insecurity is “most prevalent among households with low incomes, those who rent … and those who identify as Indigenous and Black” and food insecurity has increased during the pandemic. Food is a basic human need essential for health and life itself. We ALL need food to survive.

Millions of Canadians still don’t have jobs to return to

Many business are struggling. Bars and nightclubs and other businesses have been shutdown indefinitely in many places due to being high-risk environments. Bartenders, DJs, waiters, numerous people have lost their jobs and those jobs aren't coming back anytime soon.

In BC, we have a limit of 50 people for gatherings and ALL of the events where I used to sell my clothing and accessories were gatherings of more than 50 people. Artisan markets, fashion shows, trade shows...large events, indoors with lots of people, which are now banned. This disrupts not just me and the other businesses who attended these events, there's also all the organizers for the events and the workers who setup up the convention halls, food servers, security, etc.

The Covid crisis has "disproportionately impacted our most financially vulnerable: low wage earners, part-time employees, the solo self-employed, youth, and recent immigrants" and estimates suggest that over 1/2 million lay-offs could be permanent.

And automation is coming, very quickly. You may think, oh, that's something far off in the distant future. It's surprisingly close in a lot of fields.

Companies are already testing driverless trucks. "The technology will bring untold profits, but it may cost thousands of truckers their livelihoods."

A number of companies have developed 3D printers for constructing buildings. So far, they can only do as tall as low-rises. They plan to have the machines commercially available later in 2020. The technology looks really cool and sustainable. If so, it could be a great option that could be widely adopted, developed, and expanded quickly.

And a language-generating robot wrote an op-ed article that was published earlier this month by The Guardian. The editor's note says editing "was no different to editing a human op-ed. We cut lines and paragraphs, and rearranged the order of them in some places. Overall, it took less time to edit than many human op-eds.”

Even small companies like mine are looking at how to increase automation and involve less people. I'm looking at doing runways shows using virtual 3D models and I'm considering moving my manufacturing to a new computerized on-demand system that would reduce costs and be more sustainable. But these changes would also mean not hiring local people, such as models, pattern-makers, photographers, industrial sewers...

"In contrast with the industrial revolution, the titans of our new economy aren't creating that many new jobs. At its zenith, GM employed hundreds of thousands. Facebook fewer than 10K. The same is true of globalization...it's outsourcing a lot of jobs from the developed western economies. The terrifying reality is that there is no economic rule which automatically translates increased economic growth into widely shared prosperity." This is a quote from Chrystia Freeland's Ted Talk on "The rise of the new global super-rich". It's an interesting talk discussing the radical shift happening in our economy, a shift that is now being accelerated by the pandemic.

Small Business and Women

Canada has a large number of small businesses & BC's rate of entrepreneurship is even higher than the national average. The businesses hardest hit by the Covid crisis were small businesses and solo self-employed.

Want to take a guess at who the majority of small business owners and solopreneurs are who were hardest hit by the pandemic? Who owns the small businesses that were too small to be eligible for Covid support programs? Who runs the vast majority of solopreneur businesses? Women! Click on the links to read more about The Case for Basic Income for Small Businesses and The Case for Basic Income for Women.

Artists For Basic Income

Artists have been particularly hit hard by this crisis. Many theatres are closed or struggling. In BC, dancing is now banned, both indoors and outdoors. Film and TV production was shut down for months. Now it's finally restarting, but there is a reduction in staff and hours. Even scripts are being written to include less characters and eliminate the need for background actors. Click on the link to read more about The Case for Basic Income for The Arts.

Being a female artist and a small business owner and soloprenuer, these points all speak to me. I know I've found the pandemic very challenging and I know I'm not alone. I've heard from other artists, small business owners, and soloprenuers who are having a very difficult time surviving this crisis.

Take Action!

Sign a petition! Write to your MP. Write to Chrystia Freeland and Justin Trudeau.

Here are some links to help you get started:
Ask your MP & Trudeau to support Universal Basic Income
Sign to Support M-46 Guaranteed Livable Basic & tell your MP to support Motion 46!

#basicincome #artists4basicincome #motion46 #ubi #universalbasicincome

Black Lives Matter: Protests, Concerns and Suggestions

6/7/2020

I have some thoughts I want to share about the current Black Lives Matter movement and how it's going so far.

To start, I want to clearly repeat my call to take action:

Speak up to oppose racism and hate in all its forms!

Here are some of my thoughts about what's been going on based on what I've seen and what I've read.

1. Let's try to focus on the matters that most URGENTLY need attention right now, like situations where people were killed!

This started over a black man being pinned under cop's knee until he died. From what I've read, George Floyd did have criminal record and did do some awful things in the past, but it's clear what happened was horribly wrong.

I think Breonna Taylor's case is another good focus, because it's a situation where she did nothing wrong. She was asleep in her home. Cops broke into her her place in the middle the night. Her partner did fire a gun, once. But the cops were in plain clothes and entered unannounced, her partner thought they were being robbed and in danger! Breonna did nothing and she was shot at least 8 times. Why were the cops there? From what I've read, they were doing a "no-knock" drug raid to arrest someone ELSE at a DIFFERENT address, who they had already arrested earlier the same day. There's no cell phone footage, but the facts seem pretty clear.

These are both US cases of horrible treatment of black people by police.

In Canada, I read just this week Chantel Moore was shot by police in New Brunswick when they visited her for a safety check! The police say she attacked them with a knife. There's no video footage. :( But even without footage, a basic Aikido move would be able to disarm someone with a knife. And how bad of a shot are you? Even if you HAD to shoot someone, how about the leg or somewhere where you won't kill them? The cops were supposed to go check to make sure she was safe!

I think these are all good cases to focus on. These are all cases where it's clear something went horribly awry and police killed people.

And I think in places like Canada, the issues we have with racism are broader than just black people. We have a different population make-up and a different history than the US. In Canada, I think our biggest issue is actually with the treatment of Indigenous people. We've had issues with the treatment of black people too (most recently in Toronto when D'Andre Campbell was killed by police in his home while he was experiencing a mental health crisis). Canada has a history of slavery and servitude, but it's a bit different than the US. Some slaves in Canada were of African descent, but many were Indigenous. In addition, many people originally from India migrated to Canada both as indentured servants and as free migrants. (Many indentured servants sent to British colonies later ended up migrating to other places, including Canada.) And there have been incidents of racism directed towards Indo-Canadians. And early settlement, particularly in BC, was helped tremendously by Chinese immigrants, but there have been issues with racism toward Chinese Canadians and Asians in general , both in the past and recent incidents related to the coronavirus.

So in Canada, I think it's bigger than racism towards black people. I think the same is likely true in many other countries too. I think in any case where we're talking about people's lives, it's important to call attention to those specific situations and call for justice. And please do try to keep it specific! If we can get a LOT of focus on a FEW cases that's great!

I think if our efforts get too diluted into too many paths, it will be hard to get the numbers we need to support specific issues, and I've seen this starting to happen.

I've seen a number of posts talking about police brutality towards white people, which does happen and happened just this past week in a bunch of places. I think police brutality is an important issue to address, so yes, let's tackle that too, but it is a slightly different, related issue.

I've also seen some posts pointing out how many white people are killed by black people and pointing out that black on black violence kills lots of people too. There is lots of violence in the world, but I think these conversations are derailing and shifting attention away from the focus on racism and police killing people. "All lives matter" is not a good response to people pointing out racism.

But then, I've seen things like a petition someone put up trying to get the terminology "Master/Slave" taken out of the way camera equipment works.

No, I mean, maybe later. But no one is dying over that! And if you want to go after everything associated with master and slave and everything associated with slavery and servants, good luck. And goodbye to all those cute collars and pretty metal body chains you like to see on girls. And are you going start boycotting Billie Eilish, because she sings about enjoying Master/slave roleplay? (If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch the video and read those lyrics!)

Goodness knows lots of people criticized Doja Cat, because they thought she might be into BDSM race play. Why hate on the black girl for liking BDSM, but cheer on the white girl who likes it?

And lots of societies still have servants. In some places that's accepted and even enjoyed by the people who have servants and the servants themselves (when they're treated well). In some places, that's a job. Like in the US or Canada, you'd just call them cook or a maid or a personal assistant. And how many rich people and celebrities have that?

So again, I urge you, please FOCUS on the BIGGEST issues, the most URGENT issues. I think clear, recent incidents of racism and police brutality that involved injury and death are good areas to focus on and encourage change!

2. There's more than just protesters wanting social justice involved in these events.

As many people have pointed out there are 3 types of people who often show up to these events:

Protesters, people who are there because they believe in the cause and want social justice.

Rioters, people who want to cause destruction, anarchists, people who want to break windows and start fires.

Looters, people who want to steal stuff (and as some people have pointed out, these are often people who are really poor and feel like they could never afford the items they're stealing).

What I haven't seen discussed as much are the other people who clearly appear to be involved in these events, including Agent Provocateurs, inciters, enablers. People who want to encourage and incite other people to violence, rioting and looting. People who enable rioting and looting.

One clear example of this is the "ANTIFA_US" twitter account that posted messages like this one:

According to multiple news reports, the account was actually run by the white supremacist group, Identity Evropa, that was pretending to be an Antifa group. Stop and think about that for a second, why would a white supremacist group want to pretend to be an Antifa group and encourage protests, violence, rioting and looting? Maybe to make black people look bad? Maybe to give cops an excuse to use lots of force? Maybe to encourage black people and allies to go out and infect each other with Covid-19?

Another example is this video showing a white guy wearing a full plastic hood respirator using a hammer to break windows in Minneapolis. He doesn't seem to be with the protesters and from what I understand this was the first instance of property destruction at the event, he started it!

I know there have been accusations he's a cop, but setting aside whether he's a cop or not, he's clearly someone who wanted to encourage rioting and looting with more than just words. He wanted to encourage it with actions!

I've also seen lots of photos and posts about mysterious piles of bricks showing up near protests, which seems suspicious. The mainstream news media has published articles saying there's no clear evidence of anything out of the ordinary, that these piles of bricks are "normal". Still I think it's plausible that someone working in construction might have easy access to a pallet of bricks and the ability to move it into place. Maybe an anarchist? Or a white supremacist with the same motives as Identity Evropa? I haven't seen any clear evidence showing who put the bricks in place, but it is clear there are some people who have NOTHING to do with #BlackLivesMatter involved in these protests.

I know for a fact that the protests in Vancouver this weekend and last weekend were NOT organized by the local Black Lives Matter group. Similarly, the protest in Toronto this weekend was NOT organized by the local BLM group either. The local BLM group in Vancouver issued an official statement about last weekend's protest saying they did not organize it and would not attend the event over Covid-19 concerns. The group was vague about support for this weekend's protest saying they didn't organize it, but then gave a number of safety recommendations for attending. Similarly, the Toronto BLM group put out a statement saying they had "NO involvement in the organizing of any of this weekend's upcoming actions and marches." But then said, "We believe in Black people mourning, grieving, and protesting however works for them..." Meanwhile Crime Stoppers reported the Toronto protest was organized by the Black Bloc, which is an anarchist group.

And there have been photos and videos showing the presence of several far-right groups associated with white supremacists showing up to protests armed with weapons, including the Proud Boys and the Boogaloo Bois.

And then, there's the police. I think it's clear from the photos and videos that have been shared over the past week that there have been a lot of incidents of police behaving badly, particularly in many major US cities. I've seen the footage of an officer shoving a 75 yr. old man down and then a whole group of police walking by his body on the ground with his head bleeding in Buffalo, NY. I've seen footage of a person who was reportedly homeless and disabled and not involved in the protests bleeding from a head wound caused by a rubber bullet in LA. And rubber bullets, those things are not just rubber! It's the outer casing that's rubber. From what I understand the bullet itself is usually metal and/or plastic. And they're huge! And it's pretty clear from the photos I've seen showing up online during the last week that some cops are using them wrong and causing people serious facial injuries! I've also read first-hand reports of terrible treatment of protesters arrested at some of the demonstrations. And I've seen photo and video documentation of police destroying first aid stations, even though the medics were given permission by the city to setup stations to provide first aid!

So I caution protesters, allies of social justice, be careful. If you're going to a protest, please make sure:

You know who's organizing the protest you're attending.
You have people there to take photos and video of what happens.
You're prepared to handle the kinds of things you may have to deal with, like tear gas and rubber bullets.

3. I think large gatherings during a pandemic are a bad idea.

I've seen the footage, thousands of people gathering in major cities around the world. I think lots of people feel strongly about racism and would like to see it end, completely. I know I would!

At the same time, according to the current global data, Covid-19 is about as contagious and deadly as the flu, specifically, the Spanish Flu. It's much less deadly than bird flu. And more contagious and deadly than the seasonal flu and swine flu.

I think this movement happened to coincide with a time when lots of people are unemployed and have been at home for months, so lots of people are tired of being home all the time, many people want to go out, have the time to go out, and it's for a good cause! Still, according to health officials, we should keep our gatherings small and transmission can happen outdoors.

Many people did wear masks, but I saw mostly fabric masks that don't really provide much protection. And in a lot of the photos and videos I saw people were much closer than 6 feet away from one another. And I know that, at least in the US, police used tear gas on the crowds, which causes lots of coughing.

I will echo the advice of BC's provincial health officer, Dr. Bonnie Henry, who apparently is now considered "one of the most effective public health officials in the world".

If you're thinking of going to a protest, consider YOUR health and YOUR family. If you are high risk or someone in your household is, maybe stay home and sign a petition or do some virtual protesting instead.

If you go to a protest:

Wear a Mask
Keep Distance (6 feet away)
Be prepared to self-isolate for 14 days after the protest (yes, really!)
Carry signs to say what you want, rather than chanting, shouting, singing
Keep the group numbers SMALL, here in BC the limit is 50 people per group

So if you have 500 people, that's 10 groups of 50 people, and you could arrange the groups at different locations around the city with signs. If you have thousands, you could have 50 people every couple blocks and you easily stretch a protest across a whole city that way.

I also feel we need to think about other ways to protest. We need to get creative and find ways to make sure our voices are heard, safely. I found this set of suggestions for virtual protesting posted by @sa.liine on Instagram. If anyone knows of other resources like this, please share!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Design | Content Creator | â–¡â–¡ (@sa.liine) on May 29, 2020 at 11:55am PDT

I think it was a bad idea for Trudeau, Obama and other leaders to appear at protests and encourage these large gatherings. I mean unless leaders want to make sure we re-open completely right now. Or maybe they want to test that "herd immunity" theory? Or see how well cloth masks work? Or maybe Covid-19 isn't really that dangerous and they destroyed people's businesses, jobs, finances and lives for no good reason?

Either this virus is dangerous and you should avoid large gatherings or it isn't. So which is it world leaders? For now, I'm choosing to believe Dr. Henry, because she's been very open and honest in her briefings. When she spoke this past week, she seemed concerned about the large gatherings and the possibility of transmission in large crowds. As she warned, it has happened before in other parts of the world. There have been cases where Covid-19 was transmitted at outdoor gatherings.

I understand it's kind of too late now. Now, we just get watch over the next couple of weeks and see what happens and hope for the best!

Thankfully, here is BC, the case numbers and rates of community transmission are low enough, I think we'll be ok. Though I worry about areas that still have lots of cases and lots of community transmission.

If you were at the protests, please watch for ANY symptoms!

3 Fashion Tips for Pandemic Times

5/15/2020

Here in Canada, like some areas of the world, there are plans to begin lifting some restrictions and opening more businesses. Since that means we’ll all likely be going out a bit more, I thought it was a good time to post some fashion tips for pandemic times!

First for men, because I feel like sometimes guys don’t get enough fashion tips & these articles are often girl-focused.

#1 Shave your Face.

No, I’m not kidding. I know you’ve been in quarantine and all, and when you were staying home, as much as possible, sure that was fine. Now, there’s an issue.

Masks don’t fit well or tightly over beards.

One of the first people I heard about testing positive for Covid-19 was a friend of my mother’s who was very careful. He carried around a spray bottle of 99% alcohol that he used to sanitize surfaces and his hands. He even wore a Vogmask (which is a reusable N95 designed for the public). Still even he admitted, the mask didn’t fit well because of his beard and he commented that he needed shave to get the mask to fit better. Just a few days later, he had a fever and cough and was being tested Covid-19. The test came back positive. It’s possible he caught it some other way, like droplets hitting his eyeballs. But to be safe, shave!

#2 Updo for You

For all genders, if your hair is long, tie it back when you go out.

Hair can get contaminated with coronavirus. I have no idea how long it lasts on hair, I haven’t seen any studies specifically talking about hair, so I’m guessing it’s similar to fabric, which means 4 to 48 hours.

Have you ever had the wind blow a strand of your hair in your eyes? Or accidentally gotten a strand of hair in your mouth? If so, tie your hair back! Put it up! Keep it away from your eyes & mouth!

#3 Short, Natural Nails are In!

For women (or I guess anyone else who likes to do their nails), keep your nails short and just add polish. Avoid gel and acrylic!

You want to keep your nails short, because they’re much easier to keep clean and short nails work better under gloves. (Invest in a good nail brush too, to help clean under your nails.)

You want to avoid gel and acrylic for similar reasons. Natural nails are much easier to keep clean and there’s also the issue of lift with gels and acrylic, or any kind of applied nail. Lifting is always dangerous, not just in terms of damage to your nail, but as an empty space that stuff can get into… You do NOT want to provide a location for coronavirus to hang out on your hands!

So short, natural nails are in!

World Belly Dance Day & Shimmy Mob

5/9/2020

"Creating change...one shimmy at a time!"

Today is World Belly Dance Day. Normally, I would have spent the day performing at various location around Vancouver with Shimmy Mob!

Shimmy Mob is global flash mob that raises awareness about domestic violence and raises funds for local women's shelters.

Since most places in the world are still under lockdown we had to do everything online this year, including the performance.

This is my best attempt at the choreography for this year. I'm a beginner at belly dance and I found it a bit hard to learn from the videos.

I gave it my best though, because it probably more important this year than it ever has been. Domestic violence has increased dramatically during this time.

If you need help in BC, contact Victim Link BC 24/7 (many languages)
Call 1-800-563-0808
Text 604-836-6381
Email VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca
TTY accessible at 604-875-0885 or collect at 7-1-1

"Creating change ... one shimmy at a time!"
Team Vancouver, BC (Canada)
#wbdd #shimmymob2020

Official 2020 Shimmy Mob Choreography by Yasmina Ramzy
Song: “El Binti Beida”
Artist: Arabesque Dance Company Orchestra

World War 3: Humans vs. SARS-CoV-2?

3/21/2020

Today it really sunk in for me how much this is like a war-time effort.

Very late on Friday night, like at 10pm, I got an urgent email from a provincial industry group wanting to know by Monday morning, how many machines your business has, what types, what fabric supplies do have on hand, etc. They wanted to assess the local industry capability, just in case we need to help out with manufacturing apparel or gear.

Hmmm... Does that sound familiar to you? Times when industries are asked about capabilities and called to help out with manufacturing.

Then I was texting with someone today. He's a pilot, so he’s out there working. And I thought, oh yeah, that’s right. You're essential services! You're one of those people on the front lines risking illness to transport what we need. I sent him a pic of me in a bikini. I thought he deserved some kind of reward for his efforts.

Then I thought...um, wow. Pinups for pilots? Again, this is really reminding of something.

He talked about wanting to meet me, you know, when this craziness was all over...

Wait a minute, what movie am I now?

I talked to friend of mine last week. He works in grocery store. He told me how crazy and busy things had been with all the panic buying. Then he got sick with cold, so he had to stay home from work. He was still sick a few days later, so he was probably going to have to stay home for a week or so.

Another front-line worker. Someone who probably caught his cold on the job, from all of the people out buying groceries!

During the BC Health Ministry briefing today, they talked about healthcare workers getting sick and how that's a risk.

That’s a real problem, because we need healthcare workers to take care of us!

And worse, the healthcare workers are transmitting it and that’s an issue! That’s how the illness spread to care homes for the elderly and why we have outbreaks in several care homes in the Greater Vancouver Area now.

The healthcare workers picked up the illness in the community. They didn’t realize they had, because they were in the incubation period and they passed it on to the very people they were caring for.

Healthcare workers are not getting sick from patients...they're getting sick when they go out for groceries.

This what they’re talking about when they talk about “Community Transmission” and the great danger with community transmission.

Healthcare workers are at risk in the community. They’re getting it in the community, they’re getting it at the grocery store, etc. They’re getting it from YOU!

We have to stay away from other people, because it protects them!

I've been in self-isolation, because I got a mild fever last weekend. I still have it, a very mild cold. So mild I probably wouldn't have even noticed if I wasn't looking for it. But a friend told me that they had come down with a cold and a fever. And I knew a couple of people in my building had just returned from an international trip. I ran into one of them in the elevator and they were wearing a mask, and they told me they were going getting tested for COVID-19. So I was concerned and checked my temperature.

I think with COVID-19 for some people, it's so mild you barely notice it. I think that's part of the problem. You don't realize you have it. You feel pretty good, so you go out and do things.

And if you do get a more serious cold, the 14 day incubation means you spread it around for 14 days before you even realize anything is wrong.

They talked about this during the briefing too. How that 14 day incubation period means when a person does get sick, they have to track down everyone that person interacted with in the last 14 days.

Can you remember every place you went, every store you checked for supplies, every person you got within 1-2 metres of in the past two weeks? Every person you stood next to in line? Every person who rang up your groceries? Who rode in the same elevator as you?

So just stop, please! Don't go out! Not now! We are in a state of emergency! Seriously. STAY HOME!

I know it's hard to comprehend just how important it is, but we are at war with a tiny, invisible enemy. And we need to work together. It's about YOU. It's about me. It's about ALL of us.

Here in BC, they're saying the next 10 days to 2 weeks are critical!

Only go out if you absolutely NEED to go out.

If you do go out, treat it like the fucking zombie apocalypse! Stay 1-2 metres (3-6 feet) away from all other people!

You should ONLY be spending time alone, or with people you live with, that's it right now!

All other connection is virtual! Phone calls, texts, email, video chat. Connect! But do it remotely.

Thank goodness we still have power and an internet connection, though it feels it’s gotten much slower than it’s been in years, since everyone seems to be using it now.

We can do even do some #QuarantinePinups to share with those wonderful people working to provide us with essential services, like groceries & healthcare, but it's going to have to be wearing a bikini on the balcony, doing some pinup shots on the patio or taking some photos in various rooms around the house.

#Coronavirus #COVID19

Note: If you are in BC and have industrial sewing machines and fabric supplies and have not filled out the survey yet, please feel free to contact me and I’ll send you the details. They want the information by tomorrow morning, Monday, March 23rd. (I did ask if I could share the information publicly, but they haven’t answered, so send me a message if you need the details.)

Distancing: How Far Away Do I Need to Be?

3/20/2020

It's weird. A week ago I was writing that post about COVID-19 preparations and encouraging everyone to #MakeAPlan. Here we are a week later & I don't know about you, but in my city we're pretty much at lock-down, shelter-in-place, STAY HOME land.

The local government has made an emergency declaration that everyone is to stay home unless you absolutely need to go out (e.g. for groceries) & if you go out you're supposed to stay 1-2 metres (3-6 feet) away from all other people.

So while I was out on my patio today enjoying some fresh & air sunshine (do it, it's beautiful), I did some people watching.

I saw some people walking around & I was curious to see if people knew how to do distancing. I saw 5 different people pass each other while walking around my neighborhood.

Success Rate?

3 people clearly didn't know how to judge distance and were too close to each other.
1 person kept a 1 metre distance.
1 person clearly knew what they were doing and stayed 2 metres away from other people.

So that's what inspired this post & video.

How to Measure 1-2 Metres
I apparently could do this by sight from many floors above ground level. I think it's because I sew, so I'm used to working in metres and yards & knowing how long a metre of fabric is in relationship to the human body.

So here are some helpful tips:

1 metre = ~1 yard = ~3 feet
2 metres = ~2 yards = ~6 feet
1 metre is about the distance from the tips of your fingers to the center of your body, if you're average adult, obviously this varies with body size.
2 metres, if you stretch out your arms on both sides the total distance is about 2 metres (again, depends how big/small you are, this is for an average human being).
Sidewalks are ~1.5 metres wide*

So, yes, get some fresh air and sunshine! Open your window, step out onto your patio, into your yard. But if you're walking near other people, here's the best arrangement for walking.

DON'T pass each other on the sidewalk. You should keep a sidewalk width BETWEEN you and other people!

#COVID19 #Coronavirus #SocialDistancing #PhysicalDistancing #Distancing

*"Current standards are for a minimum 1500mm wide sidewalk, generally constructed of broom-finished concrete, in low density residential areas. Higher density residential areas have a minimum 1800mm wide sidewalk." https://vancouver.ca/files/cov/AccessibleStreetDesign.pdf

Pandemic Panic: "Communicate with family, friends and neighbours"

3/13/2020

"Communicate with family, friends and neighbours"

This is the last step recommended for being prepared as an individual by the Canadian government for COVID-19. I figure social media is often how we communicate these days, particularly when many of us are working from home or live far away from one another.

"Share your plan with them, as this might motivate them to make their own."

Ok, I'm doing it! May it inspire you to do the same. :) So here's my plan & my supplies. Supplies first, cause that took days to track down. LOL

My Supplies
1. Soap
This is something I always have in stock. It's Dr. Bronner's soap, the unscented version. It's all-natural and concentrated, so it has to be diluted with water. So I'm set for soap. :)

2. Anti-Viral Disinfectant
I chose to get the same natural cleaner I usually get, Seventh Generation's Cleanwell products. I found and bought one of each of this type of cleaner. The cleaners contain Thymol. Here's my evidence for believing Thymol works:

I found a US government PDF that lists a Thymol based cleaner as a coronavirus disinfectant.
Seventh Generation says they've submitted an application to the EPA to be on the list of official products recommended, but they haven't heard back yet.
And Another Thymol product has issued a press release about their cleaner being effective against Coronavirus.

3. Toilet Paper
Yes, I got toilet paper, but not like a shopping cart full. LOL I got a package. Seemed reasonable to me. Wishing I had a bidet really. LOL

4. Alcohol-Based Hand Sanitizer (60% alcohol or higher)
Sadly, by the time I got to the stores there was none of this left, anywhere. I have a little bit left, but thought getting ingredients might be a good idea.

5. 70% & 99% Isopropyl Alcohol
This was also completely sold out by the time I got to the stores! I do have a little left, so I'll work with what I have until stores restock. From what I've read 70% is good for sanitizing & 99% can be used to make sanitizing solutions.

6. Aloe Vera Gel
Interestingly, even Aloe Vera gel was sold out many places I went to! I got something that was as pure as possible (98% aloe vera gel).

Note: If you choose to make your own hand sanitizer, should use 99% Isopropyl Alcohol + Aloe Vera Gel. You must include at least 60% alcohol and can go up to 72% alcohol in the mix.

7. Thyme Oil
I ran across Thyme oil at a store that sells essential oils and thought, yeah, why not? It's pure Thyme oil, or in other words, Thymol. Not diluted at all. I figure a drop of this in the homemade sanitizer won't hurt.

I also found a recipe for a sanitizing spray using Thyme oil, here it is:

10-30 drops thyme essential oil
1 oz. rubbing alcohol
8-ounce spray bottle

Put thyme essential oil into an ounce of rubbing alcohol, shake it together, then fill the rest of an 8-ounce spray bottle with water.

I consider this kind of a last resort. I'd use the store-bought Thymol cleaners first or 70% alcohol, as I know those are proven to work. This recipe off the internet...hmmm...I don't know, but it's Thymol, so it should work.

8. Surgical Masks
I already had these in with my medical supplies. The general advice for the public is, if you have a cold, STAY HOME. If you must go out, for the love of all things, put on a surgical mask!

Rules for putting on a mask:

Wash your hands before!
Put surgical masks on with the blue side facing out. (It's waterproof on that side.)
Wash your hands before removing it & after you take it off. (Consider it contaminated.)

That's pretty much all the physical supplies. And people, buy what you need, but please don't overbuy! A few people stocking up does not help us all. Everyone needs basics.

It's already gotten to the point where Dentists in BC are having to cancel appointments because of surgical mask shortages!

And as I mentioned several items were not available anywhere, at any of the stores I visited & for some items that's been true for a while now.

My Plan
1. Washing Hands...more
I clean my hands a lot already. Anytime I come in from being outside, I wash my hands. Anytime I'm going to touch food, I wash my hands before. Just common sense, right?

2. Don't Touch Your face!
Seriously! This is one of the main transmission routes for any bacteria or virus. Your eyes, nose, mouth...so wash your hands before you touch your face! I already do this, just trying to be more conscious of it.

3. Namaste
Handshakes are definitely out these days. I'm kind of hoping we can all switch to Namaste. :)

4. Clean Your Phone
Really, it's one of those objects that gets dirty and you touch it a lot and you sometimes put it near your face. Clean it, often! Again, something I already do...

5. Avoid Touching Surfaces
Elevator buttons, handles on doors, etc. Alternatives:

Gloves
Edges of Jackets
Paper Towels
Sanitize surface &/or clean hands after contact

6. Indoor/Outdoor Protocol

Shoes Off & Wash Hands

I ask people to remove shoes at the door and invite them to wash their hands after entering, particularly if they've been on public transit.

Outdoor Clothes

I hang outdoor coats in a closet. I also tend to change from outdoor clothes to indoors clothes when I get home. For visitors, I keep track of where they sit & if they've been on public transit, you can bet I'm cleaning a bit after they visit. :)

7. Avoid Crowded Places
Ok, this is new for me, but my friendly Canadian government says, if COVID-19 becomes common in your community, you will "want to have thought" about how to change your behaviours to reduce risk. I'm having thoughts...

Since we've now had at least one incident of "community transmission", I'd say the GVRD now qualifies as a community risk zone. In the Vancouver area, someone got COVID-19 and they have no idea where they got it or who they got it from, they didn't travel or have contact with anyone known to have it. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of that announcement, the first local death, and the WHO officially saying it was a pandemic that made everyone rush out to buy supplies at the stores this week.

So, the Canadian gov says your plan should include reducing exposure to crowded places. So here's my plan for that:

Working from home when/where possible.
Limiting social contact. I spend time with a small number of people rn.
Attempting to avoid peak times for stores. (I find this is getting hard, cause everyone seems to be doing this, so stores are busy off peak too.)
Keeping my distance from people physically, particularly if they're coughing, etc. Nothing personal, just avoid, get away. (But isn't this always true?)
Avoiding public transit. I've started avoiding public transit in general. Normally, I'd take Skytrain, but for now, my car is my friend.
Considering whether I want to attend social events. I attended one small social event, but I'm considering if I want to do the larger gathering and events I'd normally do this month.

8. Wellness
I know the government is suggesting having some food on hand & that's probably a good idea & I generally do. Here are some highlights of what's in my kitchen.

Powdered Bone Broth: Just add hot water for a basic broth, veggies &/or meat for soup, some egg for egg drop soup. Easy to use and versatile.
Canned Soup: I always try to keep a couple cans around. :)
Frozen Foods: My freezer is filled with fruits, vegetables, gluten-free bread, pre-made meals, lots of food...and that's the usual state of my freezer.

I guess this is a good place to mention supplements too.

Vitamins: I usually keep Vitamin C & a multi-vitamin in stock.
Spirulina: It's something I believe can be healthy based on the reading I've done, but you do need to be picky about brand, quality, purity. It's basically a supergreen food.
Quercetin: I choose to buy some based on this article. I understand the Quercetin I got probably isn't the same thing they're testing, but from what I've read it seems like a relatively safe supplement that's good for lots of things, including recovering from colds. My theory was probably won't hurt, might help, I'll get some! :)

I think eating well is important. You need to make sure you're taking care of yourself physically. I think the same is true mentally. You need to take care of yourself mentally too.

Make sure you educate yourself. Make sure you meditate, pray, relax. Sleep well. We need calm rational actions the most right now & acts of compassion. And belief does play a large role in how we feel and even how well our immune systems work!

So go ahead and read about The Extraordinary Decisions Facing Italian Doctors, but also make sure you read Coronavirus: Ten reasons why you ought not to panic. Both perspectives are important to have.

If you're looking for some light edutainment, I highly recommend "Cells At Work", which is on Netflix. I think now is a great time to watch it, cause you'll understand how the immune system works so much better. And it's cute. :)

#pandemicpanic #coronavirus #covid19 #makeaplan

International Women's Day: Be a Lady They Said

3/8/2020

I thought I would share the video, "Be a Lady They Said". I found it to be very powerful in speaking to the many contradictory expectations of women.

Happy Valentine's Day: Tools to Understand Love and Attachment

2/14/2020

For all of you who do not have someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with, I wish you a day filled with lots of love. Fill it with self-love. Treat yourself to a bath, chocolate, wine, whatever it is that feels good to you.

For those of you who have loved ones to celebrate with, enjoy and appreciate.

I also wanted to share a couple of tools you can use to understand your experiences with love and attachment better.

Do you know your primary Love Language?

How about your attachment style?

I think both of these tools can be helpful, regardless of whether you're involved with someone or not. It's about learning how you feel and how you tend to approach love and relationships, which is kind of a form of self-love too.

Feminist Friday: The Super Bowl Sunday Special

2/9/2020

Feminist Friday is back, because I felt compelled to write about the Super Bowl Sunday halftime show.

Why did I watch it?
Francesca (aka Sabeya) posted on Facebook saying she wasn't watching the Super Bowl & asked if other people were not watching it too. Someone commented that Francesca was missing the halftime show & she replied saying she watched the halftime show. I wondered why, so I checked out the details and learned that JLo and Shakira were performing. According to article I read, Shakira's been belly dancing since she was young. Suddenly, it made sense. Francesca is a professional dancer. She teaches a belly dance fitness class I attend & she's the person who started Shimmy Mob, the world's largest belly dance flash mob! So I decided to watch the halftime show.

My View
First, let me say there were some things I really liked about it! Shakira and Jennifer Lopez are both talented entertainers & they put on a great song and dance act. I thought it was very cool that both of the women featured weren't young; Shakira is in her 40's and JLo is 50! I also liked many of the songs and artists that were featured. I love Reggaeton. I often dance to it at clubs & Mi Gente is on one of my playlists. :)

Now let's get to some of the problems, starting with this. I think this image really sums up one of the biggest issues I had with the show. Here we see JLo in a nude bodysuit with sparkles that strategically cover some parts & mimic the look of lingerie. And we see J Balvin next to her fully clothed and covered. We see her dancing suggestively & him pointing at her butt.

This sends a very clear message & it's one I've seen time and time again since I was a kid. The message is, if you're a guy and you want to be a musician, go for it! It doesn't matter what you look like. Whether your hot & ripped or kind of plain looking, heavy or thin. All kinds of guys are popular musicians! And when you're up on stage, if you're a guy, you just need to sing. But if you're a girl, well, you better be hot and thin & you'll have to wear revealing outfits & dance suggestively.

It used to be you had to be young too, but with Shakira and JLo being featured it seems like being young isn't necessarily a requirement anymore. But being hot and wearing lingerie-like outfits is required & don't forget those moves! Crotch grabbing, twerking and pole dancing!

I know some people defended the outfits Shakira and JLo wore saying they were similar to the cheerleader's outfits & I agree cheerleader outfits are often skimpy. But why do skilled singers need to dress in outfits to match the cheerleaders? And why do cheerleaders wear those outfits? Where are the male cheerleaders dressed like Chippendale dancers?

Others have pointed out that the outfits and dance moves are just like what you see at concerts done by these women. I agree, but why are women expected to wear revealing outfits and move suggestively and sing? Why is this standard? Why is this considered not just normal and acceptable, but the ideal? Why is THAT what's required to become popular, or even break into the industry? Why is THAT what it takes to become the richest woman in the entertainment industry? Is hot & sexy STILL the only way for women to get ahead?

To me, the halftime show looked like it was crafted for the male gaze, an adult heterosexual male gaze.

I know some people pointed out that a male singer sang without a shirt last year & no, that is not the same. When the standard becomes that male singers have to wear lingerie & dance around suggestively, then we'll have some gender parity!

Maybe the NFL could get Todrick Hall to wear a nude bodysuit like JLo's, with sparkles just covering the crotch and he could do his routine from Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels. That *might* begin to even the scales.

I find it sad, because it's the same old message we've been fed for years. Guys, you get measured by your talents. Girls, you get measured by your looks, how sexy you are, talent is secondary.

Just take a look at listings looking for female singers. They say openly they want young, hot looking women. The entertainment industry is one of the few industries where it's perfectly legal to choose based on looks, ethnicity, age...you can feel free to be biased! It's an industry where you're often judged on how hot and sexy you look, more than your talent. This is part of the reason why plastic surgery is so popular, particularly with female entertainers.

Women like Shakira and JLo know how to cash in on this. Same with Beyoncé, Kim K and dozens of others (including lots of Instagram influencers). These women choose to flaunt their bodies to promote their talents, or in the absence of talent (e.g. Kim K.'s infamous comment that she doesn't know how to sing or dance…).

I know personally I've felt torn by this. I've always wanted to be recognized for my talents and skills! My intelligence and the fact that I can act, dance, sing and create art. I've purposefully downplayed my appearance and covered my body, but I've seriously wondered if that's the wrong choice! When I see examples like Beyoncé and Kim K. being some of the richest and most powerful women in the world, I wonder if maybe I should be flaunting my 34H cup tits and shaking them for the world, because it would probably earn me a lot more money! And when these women are held up as examples of being feminist, I wonder WTF am I even doing?

I used to think such behavior would hurt your reputation and damage your professional career, but seeing women like Kim K. go from sex tape to one of the richest women in the world, it makes me think it doesn't matter. You can release a sex tape, do porn, wear revealing outfits, pose nude, etc. and it won't hurt your reputation or damage your professional career. In fact, it can make you rich, famous and popular!

I've seen how women like Cardi B. have openly admitted to not just stripping, but drugging and robbing men. Like she actually did what's portrayed in Hustlers in real life, which is a crime! And somehow there was no outrage. She's not considered a pariah like Bill Cosby. Why?

And as much as I love some of Lizzo's songs, that outfit she wore to the Lakers game with the cut-out butt? Ugly AF & why a sports event? And it’s not about her size, that outfit would look ugly on ANYONE, any gender, any size! But I'm not a fan of ass-less pants either. I feel like the *only* place I can imagine a use for bottomless pants and dresses is a kink club. Not a sporting event.

And here we are at another sporting event, sporting things that make no sense. Like that POLE! Seriously, WTF? Why was there pole dancing during the halftime show? Pole dancing is something that happens at strip clubs. I mean, where else does that happen? (There IS an answer to this question later on in this post.)

Mom's View
I asked my mom for her view, because a number of comments I read from moms said they wouldn't want their young daughter or son to see that halftime show. She commented on the crotch grabbing moves, the skimpy outfits, the pole dancing. She didn't feel it was appropriate for what was supposed to be family entertainment.

She recalled a scene from an old black & white movie where one woman is giving advice to another saying to always remember, "British in the parlor, Parisian in the bedroom." She feels like she’s pretty liberal and her 30 year old friends agree, but she feels like you should be tasteful, refined, elegant in public & feel free to go wild in your bedroom. She felt that movie quote sums up that idea nicely.

She asked, "Why are we celebrating just their bodies and shaking their booty?" She told me she felt like feminism had somehow gone from being able to pursue any job you want for equal pay to let's flash our boobs & crotch. She questioned what kind of values modern feminism was putting forward. "How is this encouraging women to be confident & free? Free to do what? Vulgar movements?"

She thought some of the dance moves were "simulating having sex" and she found that distasteful. "And then to have the children there” commenting on children's choir, my mom sounded truly sad for the young children exposed and involved.

I asked her what age she thought would be appropriate for the program. "Teens?" she said hesitantly, "but even then", she commented again about the "appalling" content. She said she felt "over 25 would be better, when you've had some life experience.” I laughed and asked why 25 and she commented on the values being conveyed and the lyrics in the songs.

I hadn't even paid attention to the lyrics. My mom had! She commented how "She-Wolf" is a story about a woman who feels neglected by her partner, so she goes to a bar looking for casual sex. "What is this teaching you?" she exclaimed. "Rather than talk to your partner, you should go cheat?"

Then she commented about "Hips Don't Lie" and how the message was that if a woman swings her hips and dances suggestively, then it means she wants to have sex with you. Now every guy at the club is going to think I want to have sex with him!

My mom mentioned the halftime show reminded her of the documentary "Generation Wealth". I wasn't familiar with it, so I decided to watch it.

Generation Wealth: Pornified Culture & Where Else Do You See Pole Dancing?
So I watched the documentary & at the start I didn't see the connection, but then Chris Hedges commented, "We're a completely pornified culture. The images of porn are now so pervasive and accessible throughout the society they've leeched into popular culture."

The on-screen images reflect this and include a pole dancing fitness class. Oh yeah, that is a thing! I know they exist locally here in Vancouver too.

Last year I even signed up for a couple of dance classes focused on hip hop that advertised themselves as being for fierce, independent women, using names like "Army of Sass". When I showed up, I found out the classes were focused on teaching you how to dance sexy in heels. Yes, they were using some hip hop moves, but in heels. Needless to say, I dropped the classes. I like sneakers for dance. :)

Generation Wealth now had my attention & it is related. Chris Hedges comments later in the documentary that "unfettered, unregulated capitalism does what it's designed to do, which is commodify everything. Even human beings become commodities that you exploit for profit, until exhaustion or collapse."

Kacey Jordon, the former porn star is interviewed at one point. She talks about that fact that when she started she wanted to be an actor. When she was offered porn she agreed, because it seemed similar and related, it seemed like a way to get into doing films. She commented about Kim Kardashian's success saying "Kim is my inspiration for, I can still make it, you know, because I have lots of sex tapes to show & maybe I'll still come out on top somehow."

So Beyoncé, Shakira, JLo, Kim, and all the female celebs and influencers, I call to you. I want you understand what kind of inspiration you are giving to the young women of the world. I want you fully comprehend what kind of influence, what kind of role model you are. I want you to understand the kind of messages you're sending. Honestly, not just to young women, the kind of messages you're sending to ALL women, and to men too for that matter.

Every time we use SEX to sell, we are feeding into the system that says that being hot and sexy is what matters the most. It says that how hot you are is more important than how intelligent you are. That how sexy you are is more important than your talents and skills. That a woman's body is her most important and valuable asset.

I'm not saying you have to wear sack dress to perform, but there is a time and a place for lingerie and I don't think it should be the stage (or videos for that matter). But I know that's the path to millions. It's the path paved with gold. The temptation is strong. I know it is. I've felt it. I've had friends who have given in to different degrees. I know women who post sexy selfies & I've known women who have been strippers & women who have done sex work. I know sexy pics get lots of likes and followers. And I know you can make a lot of money being a stripper and doing sex work.

At one point in Generation Wealth, a young girl named Sheena is interviewed, she's 15 and she says "I wanna be a topless dancing showgirl...if I can accomplish being that, then I can accomplish anything."

I think this quote points to what I think is horribly awry with modern feminism. Women are being told and shown that the way to get ahead, the way to accomplish ANYTHING, fame, fortune, success, etc. is to show and shake your body! That the path to power as a woman is to take off your clothes, to be hot and sexy, that that IS empowerment, that that is feminism.

Sadly, I read that Jennifer Lopez thinks this debate is “silliness” and she feels the halftime show was “really well reserved”. In her interview with Jimmy Fallon she says, “and that small faction of people who want to be negative about it, I can’t even let in because it was such an amazing night.”

So apparently she thinks it’s just a “small faction” of people who think the performance was inappropriate and that they’re just being “negative”, so she won’t even listen to what they have to say. :(

I think that’s really sad, because it makes it clear to me that she not going to listen to anyone who doesn’t agree with her. She’s not interested in hearing how her performance showed that women are on top of the world when they’re half-naked twirling around the top of a pole.

I wish I could end this post on a more positive and hopeful note, point to some bright spots, some hope for change, but this is the same issue and same messages I’ve seen since I was a child and things don’t really seem to be getting better. In some ways it seems like things have gotten worse.

My mom asked if I was going to encourage people to write to the NFL & I feel like go ahead if you want, but I think the issue is larger than that.

I think it might be more effective to write to female entertainers to try to change their minds, but I’m not sure if they will listen.

I guess I should thank JLo for making it crystal clear what it takes to get to the top of the world as a woman. The halftime show made it clear that as a female entertainer, what really matters is how hot & sexy & scantily clad you are. But if you’re a man, you can wear baggy sweatpants and glasses, because men just need talent.

I wish I felt like I could stand up and say, no, I won’t do that! But I know all too well that my success and even my ability to get jobs is directly related to how many followers I have on social media.

I guess I should post more hot and sexy pics. Goodness know lots of guys asked about that bikini pic after I did the Dolly Parton Challenge. I’m sure my social media following would increase if I did!

Christmas Roast

12/25/2019

What's Christmas without a good roast? There's a red dress, some roasting, some fire, seems Christmasy to me. :) It's even educational too.

BTW, like the original, handmade dress she shows, the dresses I designed for Hourglass Heaven also have 11 panels in the bodice! That's what helps with the shaping and allows the dresses to hug your curves. It's part of why the dresses fit so well!

Your New Dating Checklist: Early Warning Signs

9/28/2019

I wanted to share this article about 9 very early signs of emotional and verbal abuse. I think it's a good list to look over and check if you see any of these warning signs, when you're dating someone new.

Tomorrow, I'll be performing with Shimmy Mob. We're doing an extra performance this year, which is focused on raising awareness about emotional abuse.

It's a flash mob, so times are approximate:

Time: 11-11:15am
Lafarge Lake, Coquitlam, BC
Pinetree Way across from Douglas College.
We'll be performing in the bandshell on the North side of the lake.

Time: 11:45am
50 Queen's Street, Port Moody, BC
Between Spring street & Clark St.
We'll be performing beside the Aroma Indian Restaurant & Lounge.

From there we may continue to Queen's Park in New Westminster and maybe down to Vancouver as well.

If you're in the area, come see us perform. :)

Selected for Startup Fashion Week Toronto

9/11/2019

I'm happy to announce I've been selected to participate in Startup Fashion Week Toronto! I'm very excited to be taking part in Startup Fashion Week. I'll be posting more details soon.

World Suicide Prevention Day

9/10/2019

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.

Close to 800,000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally.

Please take a minute to learn how to recognize the signs and what you can do to help!